Embracing Grit and Resilience for Personal and Professional Growth

When we ask better questions, we get better answers. We develop an ability to anticipate and pivot. And it starts on the inside.  Instead of asking what do I need to do first, I ask who do I need to be?  My answer is be brave, be a risk taker, lean into what is hard and when I fall, get back up!

Some of you may have read my 2024 email on GRIT. I shared my story of going into the Moaning Caverns.

It was 165 feet down, 235 steps, and back up. Long story short my worst fear happened when I took a fall and had to move out of the way to let others pass.   The last 65 feet up were slow and painful, pulling myself up with the handrail each step, but I made it to the surface and celebrated; I did it!!! It was hard, and I just took one step at a time.

I read an email from Tony Robbins recently that strikes me as appropriate to my topic. He is talking about the Olympians who went to Paris. He said:

“The world’s greatest athletes prepared for their big moment—the chance to represent their country in the Paris Olympics.” Success at this level doesn’t come from “luck.” “Years, even decades, of sacrifice and dedication. Hours and hours of practice every week. Setbacks, injuries, and disappointments to overcome to get to that level of competition.”

“And let’s face it—it’s not JUST about hard work.”

No, ...... there’s one key factor that makes all the difference... that takes ALL that hard work and refines it into gold. Olympians...entrepreneurs... professionals from all walks of life... everyone who succeeds at the highest levels... all have ONE ingredient in common. A coach would be one asset, and I do agree that having someone outside yourself monitoring your progress and challenging your best makes a difference. I think that is not enough. That is external.

What is it you ask? GRIT! I started thinking about what Grit is as compared to resilience.

Resilience is the ability to quickly recover from or adjust to misfortune or change, whereas Grit is the passion and perseverance for long-term goals.

I started reading articles on Grit and the comparison to resilience. I wondered why some people survived horrible things like the 1929 depression, the potato famine in Ireland, the Holocaust in Europe, and several worldwide pandemics, including most recently COVID around the world, while others thrive.

A survivor is a person who lived through hardship or disaster. A “thriver” is more than that. It is someone who goes through an exceptionally threatening life event and shows subsequent growth because of the experience. Why do some people thrive after life’s worst experiences while others stay the same?

I find the common element to be Grit. Grit combines a growth mindset and mental agility that allows you to adapt when things go sideways. It is an inner strength that tells your brain that failure isn’t a stop sign. It is a detour. It is a dogged determination in the face of challenging circumstances. As Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor and philosopher king, said, “The Obstacle is the way.” The challenge we face when faced head-on is the shortest way to success, rather than getting stuck with figuring out workarounds to achieve the goal.

Facing challenging circumstances means actively leaning into them, which is what it takes to help us rise.

My best example are my grandparents. Each made a decision to leave their respective countries while still very young, just after WW1 but before WWII. There were many minor wars between Russia, Germany, and Poland, and antisemitism was high; the families that didn’t leave in time ended up not surviving the Holocaust. The goal was to come to the U.S. but it meant changing countries several times; the most prolonged stay was in Cuba for 17 years where they met each other and married. They were waiting to get into the United States. They didn’t know the language, they didn’t own anything but a change of clothes, had little education and less money. Yet they were able to survive, and they also started several small businesses, in Cuba, which didn’t do well, then in the U.S. after a long stint working for others, before they hit on the right one and from fabric scraps we call “Schmates,” they sold at the "swapmeets" which led them over several years to owning four fabric stores in Southern CA and ultimately helped some other family members get into the U.S. who also started businesses.

I believe their success story is because of Grit, and I am fortunate to have absorbed many business and life lessons from them. It was a lifetime of doing hard things and much sacrifice to own their business and home and devoting their lives after age 55 to help support seven grandchildren, of whom I am the oldest, while still working.

When I am facing hard decisions or tasks, I think of them and how they grew after each failed venture, getting closer to the right action and dream. It is because they owned their own business, they gained agency albeit later in life; they could write their own story and did so from the raw materials they had. I love what Mary Morrisey says about "doing what you can with what you have, and knowing you have way more than you think".

Did you know some of us may have some resilience in our nature? For most, we build it over time by doing hard things repeatedly. Each time I try something challenging and accomplish it, even small things, it is like building a muscle. Grit is an essential ingredient to resilience and thriving.

I will tell you one way to build that skill is to try things that are hard in other areas of your life (like me stepping into a big, deep dark hole in the ground) if you feel scared to take business concerns head-on, like dropping in an attorney office or escrow office, writing an email to prospective customers, attending or speaking at an event, performing your first loan signing, So who do you need to be to take these steps?

Is it a person willing to draft emails and have someone like a coach review them? Could it a person who shares the stage by co-presenting with someone more experienced? Could it be performing mock signings by collaborating with a colleague or friend as the attorney or signer? Identify it, and when we lean into what we fear, we rise. So, let’s talk about concrete steps you can take to move you to your goals.

• Reframe that stress, I am excited rather than nervous can enhance our performance.

• Take ownership of your story and give yourself agency to shape the narrative to be the outcome you want. Then, build that muscle.

• See yourself winning and achieving the goal you want. Picture yourself getting what you want!

• Ask yourself, “What is hard right now?” Could you write it down and own it? Then, take one small step toward doing a hard thing, even in a different area. What areas could you take a step in the direction of your goals?

Finally, ask yourself why? Why are you doing what you are doing? Having a deep why that keeps you connected to where you want to land is an incentive to keep you going. Remember, making money has a reason, like earning time and freedom, so you can spend it with whom and do what? Visualize what that looks like.

If you want to work on answering better questions about success and collaborate with others who do, join me at Laura’s Inner Circle on Saturday mornings at 8 am P.T. for my free weekly Zoom call. Visit www.coachmelaura.com to sign up, and I will send you the Zoom link.

Laura